Thanks, That Was Fun
By The Chichi Slaughter House
Warnings: Sanji POV, ZoroxSanji, yaoi, angst, sexual content; you know, the usual.
Disclaimer: I dont own One Piece, nor do I own BareNaked Ladies. I just love both of them, haha.
Rating: low R
Inspired heavily by the song with the same name. Its an awesome song, so you should listen while you read! (Thats how I wrote this anyway.)
As I sit in the middle of the bay watching Zoros shirts burn on the ground, I bury my face in my hands. The satisfaction I had hoped to gain from burning his idiotic shit is not here, and all I feel is jaded and deflated by my own actions. Shit, Im such an asshole. What the fuck was burning his shirts going to do anyway? Its just going to start another goddamned argument, yet I couldnt stop myself from hauling the items out the second everyone else left the ship. What the fuck am I going to do now?
Its not like this island will be selling the stupid things he wears! They looked damned old, too. Probably irreplaceable. Shit. And with the way the black smoke is twisting up into the sky like that, he will probably think something bads happened to the ship. Or someone else will. And then theyll fucking find me, slumped next to a pile of burnt cotton shirts with a cigarette in my hand and know exactly whats happened.
Im such a fucking idiot. I wont be surprised if everyone treats me like crap after this, or even if he tries to kill me. Hell, if he does try I wont even fight back. Im so goddamned desperate for his attention nowadays that even that would be enough to make me happy. Running my hands through my hair, I recall vividly what started this all off, and hate myself more and more for the burning pile in front of me. He didnt deserve this at all
When I had realised that Nami-san was in love with the brute of a swordsman we had on board, it had come as a real shock. What good was there in that muscleheaded marimo who didnt even notice when a lady had changed her clothes, let alone her feelings? Of course, I couldnt leave it alone, and had gone straight to the green-haired idiot to try and see first-hand what could possibly be attractive in him. And that had lead to something I hadnt been expecting; when the moron had tackled me to the floor and kissed me. The conversation we had soon after is one I will never forget:
Sure, we can fuck. Just dont go falling in love with me, idiot.
Che, same goes for you, asshole. Dont you dare regret it later, either!
It didnt work out that way, of course. After a few weeks of fumbling around in the dark with Zoro, the others had started to notice changes in the way I was acting, asking me if something good had happened recently. Obviously I had answered that nothing had changed at all and laughed off their accusations, even when Robin-chan had hit it on the mark. The second the last word had left her lips, I was denying it and calling the idiot every name under the sun to prove my hatred for him, though I knew none of them believed it.
Things only got worse after that.
Unhappy from the fact everyone else seemed to know, I started treating Zoro like dirt. Both when others were around and when we were alone, causing him to feel pissed off with me a lot. Still, I had started to have feelings for him, and even when I was cursing at him and pushing him away rudely, all I wanted was for him to pull me in close. Of course, due to his thick-headedness, he didnt click on to that in the slightest, and soon became bored of me.
I only wish I could blame him for the whole thing. But I cant, because I know so painfully that it was all my fault. When the others asked me about it, I didnt have to start treating him so badly, yet I just couldnt help myself. I suppose I reacted on instinct. Hell, those seven months we spent were probably the happiest I have been so far in my life, even the one where I started acting differently. Im surprised he even put up with my shit for an entire month. No matter how I felt about someone, I dont think I could have done the same thing.
Because of that admiration, I cant even bring myself to hate him. Even though he was the one to break it off, I just cant turn around and point the finger at him.
There are so many memories of this relationship that I know Ill never forget. Happy ones, sad ones
there are so many I remember. Too many. Seven short months have given me more memories than the rest of my fucking life, and Im not sure if thats a good or a bad thing.
I remember the nights we just lay there, with him tracing words onto my back with his finger that he thought I couldnt read. Things like shitty cook, nice ass and blondie. I never told him I could read it because I never wanted him to stop. I asked occasionally what the hell he was doing, and he was never honest with me about it, saying he was just trying to piss me off whilst he wrote I love you onto my skin.
But that doesnt happen any more.
The uncomfortable look on his face when he told me he wanted to stop fucking is burnt into my memory so fiercely that every time I close my damn eyes all I can see is him. All his hurt and insecurities were on the surface, just for those few moments, and I could tell it wasnt just a change of his mind on a whim. Hed been thinking about it for a while, and I suppose that hurts. He never once came to me and was upfront about what was annoying him. He just said thanks, it was fun, and all I said in return was goodbye.
Maybe he thought that I was the one who grew bored of him. Maybe thats why he spent time getting bored of me before throwing me aside. Maybe he never loved me at all; maybe the words he wrote were genuinely to piss me off, no matter how complimentary. He probably knew I could read them.
Shit, Im still so madly in love with him that its pissing me off.
Youd think after two months the stupid feelings would have faded by now. But they havent, and the fact he hasnt found anyone else just makes me feel hopeful hell come back. Theres a part of me that really really wants that to be true, but the rest of me knows it just isnt going to happen. He isnt the type to go back on anything hes said; that stuff with Usopp back on Water 7 said that clearly enough.
I dont know why Im so damn hopeful for it. No matter what I think, it just isnt going to happen. I cant believe Ive become this weak to him. It just doesnt make sense. My entire life, Ive swooned madly over women, so the fact that a man can do this to me is just
I cant get over it. If youd asked me a year ago if this would ever happen, Id gladly have stuffed my foot so far down your throat it came out your arse whilst asking you what the fuck you were on. But now
Hell, its too late!
If Id known this was going to happen, I would have been so much more honest. With myself, and with the others. Even to Zoro. But thats what hindsight has given me, I guess. Wouldve been a hell of a lot better if I could see into the future. Or even if I just wasnt so fucking stupid.
The worst part is seeing him every damn day. It feels so awkward and I can barely stand it. Even our usual bickering has completely slowed down, so much so I wonder if that was our way of flirting. Of course we wouldnt be flirting after something like this. Because that would just be ridiculous. But its really starting to take its toll on me; after so long without having an outlet to vent my frustrations sexual or violent I just feel agitated all the time. I keep picking on him every time he comes near me but he just doesnt take the bait, and I fucking hate that. Hes fucking ignoring me.
Time and time again Ive thought of going back to him and begging him for a second chance. On my knees, if need be. But I dont think Ill be able to do it without saying some really stupid pathetic things, and I already know that he would just hate me if I did something like that. And that is only if he doesnt hate me already. Its driving me mad, because I had never predicted this. Because of the way we started it and the strangely affectionate things he was doing, I would have thought that when I ended it I wouldnt have kept it up forever that he would be the one clinging to my ankle and begging me to stay with him. And yet here I am, barely stopping myself from doing it instead.
I fell so far its almost painful to think about. After a few days I had already forgotten my actual objective, and a few weeks and it was so comfortable it had felt like we had always been together like this. Just so stupid. I didnt even realise that what I was doing was cruel to Nami-san, which I should have done immediately. I had only gone to him to see whether the appeal was something I could mimic for her, and inadvertently had ended up taking him from her. Well, sort of, anyway. Whilst we were fucking it was unlikely she would get a look in, as I didnt exactly ask him for anything but release. There were no romantic actions he had to do first, and he didnt even have to think about my feelings, because if he put his hands on me, I was pretty damn ready to go. And the same went for him.
I dont know if Nami-san is that type of lady, but I imagine she wouldnt have been up for it at all the stupid times he had tried to get in my pants. Sometimes he would wake me up at two in the morning and drag me out to the crows nest without a word, and others he would lightly touch my back when I was trying to cook. He had learnt after the first few times that when I was cooking it was practically a no, and had touched a little to show his interest before waiting for me to finish up. And I always did.
I dont think she would have appreciated either of those things happening.
God knows even I struggled with his appetite at times, but it wasnt like he didnt struggle with mine occasionally either. Nami-san would probably have lost her temper with him quickly. At least, I assume so.
I realise Ive been staring at my feet for fucking forever when I hear the idiots voice shouting in the distance. Ah shit, have marines come already? Why cant these guys just keep a low profile for once? Morons. I bet it was all Luffys fault, like usual. Getting to my feet I drop my cigarette butt on the floor and stamp on it just to extinguish any leftover flames, though the action is useless as the fire in front of me is far worse.
As I straighten, I see the swordsman bound onto the scene, his eyes wide as he looks between the flames and myself, putting two and two together slowly as I just stare blankly at him. The worry and shock dissolves from his face an instant later, and before I know it, he is in my face, shouting at me. Im not even paying any attention to what hes saying, too mesmerised by his face being so close to focus on anything else.
You shitty cook-bastard! Ah, that one got through. Lazily smirking, I feel the urge to just get another cigarette and light it on the flames. Great, even now I want to antagonise him, despite the fact I doubt he could get angrier than this. His hands grab my shoulders as he starts to shake me, and damn if I dont enjoy the touch. I close my eyes and just sigh as he yells, not even paying attention to the words, just the sound of his voice. Even angry, it sends chills through me.
It takes me a few moments to realise hes shoved me onto the floor when I feel the ground hit my ass. Looking up, I see him grab his stuff and fling it into the ocean, an entirely unimpressed look on his face. And damn rightly, too. Id be pissed off if some idiot set my clothes on fire too. I feel awkward as I watch him take every piece and dunk them into the water, not a single item salvageable. I want to get up and help out, but I have the strange feeling he doesnt want me to move from this spot so I dont. If he wanted my help, hed have asked me.
When the last item is in the sea and the fire has been extinguished, he turns to me, completely serious. There isnt a trace of amusement in his face at all, and that worries me a little as he steps towards me. Theres no cheerfulness, just this sense of anger and disappointment that burns me far more than it should. I dont want to look yet I cant look away; the fact that hes stopped ignoring me meaning that I can finally look into his green eyes. What I see staring back at me is nothing like the times when he would just hold me, but I am still entranced by it. But not so much so that I realise he is just staring and not saying a word. Minutes pass and the unbearable silence grates on my nerves. Why isnt he fucking saying anything? There must be something he wants to say!
What is it, asshole?
Ive been waiting for you to fucking apologise! He shouts, startling me. As my eyes widen, he just carries on, looking more frustrated than Ive ever seen him, and its my fault. The others kept coming to me asking me to fix what Id done to you, but I was just waiting! Every fucking day, waiting for you to walk up to me and say you were goddamned sorry for acting like such a dick! I shift my gaze to his feet so I dont have to look at him, but he wont allow it, just stepping closer and grabbing my chin as he kneels next to me on the cooling ground. Every day, cook. I ignored your goddamn bedroom eyes and taunts as best as I fucking could, only to have Nami or Luffy bitch at me as if it was all my fault! As he grips my chin tighter, I wince. And now you fucking burn my clothes! What the hell is wrong with you?!
Though I earlier thought I wouldnt fight back, I find my foot grinding hard against the side of his head as I try to push him off me. The grip on my face fucking hurts, and if hed just let it up a bit I wouldnt care. It feels like hes trying to crush my jaw in his hand, and I dont put it past him to be able to, let alone to want to.
His other hand reaches up and grabs my ankle tightly as well, and I almost yelp in pain as he forcefully moves it away. He looks so fucking angry now that I dont know what to do or say, just that Im in a lot of pain. Shit, even without his swords hes a formidable opponent, and he proves it by pushing my leg up to my chest while he straddles the other. Bastard knows the majority of my strength is in my goddamn legs, and that I dont want to fight with my hands, and he fucking uses it to his advantage. I almost wish he wasnt nakama now; he wouldnt have known my weaknesses so easily and I wouldnt be in this fucking mess to start with!
Let go of me, seaweed head! I hiss, pulling at his wrist with a hand. It fucking hurts. So much so that I know its going to leave huge bruises on my face when he eventually does let go. He lets go of my chin after a moment then moves to grab my hair, yanking my face closer as his eyes silently demand an explanation. The grip in my hair is firm, and I cannot help but recall the times we got rough in the galley, or the crows nest, gritting my teeth to try and distract myself from the tears that want to fall down my cheeks. Im not going to fucking cry in front of him. Not after doing that. Closing my eyes, I jerk my head to the side, not wanting him to look at me, but it has the opposite effect as he pulls me back.
The fuck you crying for? The tone of voice is a bit softer this time, and I force my eyes to open so I can see his face. Hes still angry, but he looks more concerned than before and I wonder what the hell I can even say to him now. I burnt your stuff because I thought it would stop me feeling like shit? I dont think that would work somehow, especially since it didnt help me at all. Unless making me feel like a complete jerk is helpful. Which it probably is, because the way Zoros acting its like he wants me to feel like shit and I dont blame him for it at all. Oi, say something.
Like what? My voice is hoarse and I know it, watching his eyes widen a little as it hits him how upset I am over the whole thing. Its so goddamned stupid. I knew I was going to regret it the second I lit that match and did yet I did it anyway out of spite, and Im not sure whether I regret it now or not. Sure, my face hurts and so does my ankle, but hes fucking talking to me, and it somehow feels like thats enough. You want me to apologise? It wont fix anything
wont get your stupid shirts back. The bitterness in my voice is almost tangible as he stares at me a moment, seeming taken aback. Dammit, he must have been expecting me to beg for my life or some such shit.
Fuck the shirts, asshole! The sudden aggression startles me, and I feel my eyes go wide as he grabs my shoulders again. I dont care about the fucking shirts that much; I asked what the fuck was wrong with you! I just blink and stare at him as the information sinks in, and suddenly start to feel worse as I see how damn worried he is. Knowing he cares about me is a little hard to cope with after these past two months and I bow my head, trying not to cry for real. Luckily he has tact and just pulls me into a hug, pulling me up against him tightly. Youre so stupid. He grumbles into my hair, and I have to say that I agree with him.
Shut up. I choke back, pressing my face into his shoulder as far as I can get it. He hasnt even heard my reasons, but I dont really think he needs to anymore, not with the way hes clinging at me. I wouldnt even know where to start anyway, and because hes made it very clear that its been my fault from the beginning as if I didnt know already I dont think that there is anything I could say anyway. So I just grab at his back in response and stay quiet. I dont even think I need to apologise any more though I do want to because of how comfortable and normal this feels. Despite the really warm floor and the nagging reality he has nothing to wear but the clothes on his back now. The clothes floating next to the ship arent exactly going to go away either. As his large hand runs through my hair, I shiver and press closer. Sorry.
Sfine. Pulling back, Zoro looks me in the eye. Expectantly, like he wants me to say something else. But I dont know what else there is to say. His hand moves to stroke up my thigh and I shiver, feeling oddly shy. Hell, were in the middle of the fucking port and there are probably people watching right now, but I just dont want to push him away. In fact, all I want to do is pull him closer, so I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him down to me, sighing against his neck. He nuzzles my neck in response, then moves to trail his tongue around the edge of my ear, and I bite my lip. Dont you have something else to say?
The ships empty. I hear him snort above me and cant help but be amused, especially as he starts stroking up and down my back slowly.
Yes it is. He replies, nipping my earlobe gently. What about it? At this, I roll my eyes. He damn well knows what Im implying, but the bastard wants the satisfaction of getting to hear me say it. Well, fine. Just this once I will let him have his way.
I think we should board it, I pause to lick down his cheek. Go to the nearest room, and
Leaning up, I tug on one of his earrings lightly, making sure to press my body up to his.
Make full use of the privacy. Hearing him sigh against my ear, I lift my knee and rub it against his crotch slowly. Of course, if you dont want to, I could just-
Shut up dart-brow. He growls, yanking my body back against his. I hear you.
The next thing I know, Im bundled in his arms and being dragged into the ship faster than I could burst into laughter, my back hitting a bunk as he starts to strip off. Dammit, he seems so damn eager its infectious, and I start to undo the buttons on my shirt as quickly as I can. It isnt long before were fumbling out of our pants too, and he leans down to give me a rough kiss.
Its been two damn months since the last time. Hed better not be rusty.